The Rooster in the Hen House

More times than often we hear of women experiencing sexual harassment in the workplace. In the real world it is often publicized about women being victims of some type of abuse.  Many of us cannot fathom a man stating that he was sexually assaulted, harassed, or domestically abused by a woman.

Well, I am here to tell you that it is real, it exists, and it does happen.

Many of us, both men and women perceive a man being sexually harassed as something that should not be taken seriously, but in all honesty it should be. We have been brought up in a society that men should not be given the same set of boundaries when it comes to women making advances toward them.

Men can be taunted, being called gay for not responding to the sexual advances made toward them.

In this instance, it is not a “Man’s World.”

For a man to report sexual harassment, how would it be perceived? Many would not believe this because they make the notion that all men are dogs or that they would like to be intimate with any and every women.  Not so!

In this instance this is where men do not have the advantage; not even to report it or easily ward off the unwarranted advances. Many people in the workplace turn a blind eye when it comes to them witnessing a man being sexually harassed.  When I speak of this it is because I witnessed firsthand a colleague of mine go through this horrific experience for many years.

I am not sure if he was wearing pheromone on his first day on the job but all I know is that these women were like a bull seeing red. He was the target…

My colleague and I became acquainted very quickly and this caused for venom to be spewed out onto me. Lies surfaced very quickly. Two women in particular were responsible for both the rumors and the lies.

First, they begin by stating that my colleague was my work “Boo.” This outraged me. The very thought of remembering this fills me with pain all over again. These women would make remarks on a daily basis about my colleague speaking with me and not coming to speak with them inside of their cubicles. Since he would not come to them they made a conscious decision to come into his personal workspace.

Next, they began by making references to his hair. Then they started rubbing his head and placing their hands on the upper portion of his body.  What these women never realized was that he came over to speak with me as a way of distancing himself from their inappropriate behavior. But, being as relentless as they were they were determined that they would do anything necessary to get him to adhere to their unwarranted advances.

When our job was relocated to another office building a conscious decision was made by our then supervisor and manager to separate my colleague and I. He was assigned to sit across from one of the women who were angered that he would never come to visit her in her cubicle.

Sitting directly across from her he would never communicate with her so she started taking pictures of him resting his eyes and showing them to the supervisor in an attempt to have him reprimanded.  All of this because a man is not interested in you…

Now what she was doing was not nearly as extreme as the behavior of the other women. She definitely was not going to stop at nothing. No holds barred! Determined! No need to proceed with caution…

This particular day my colleague came over to make small talk and this relentless woman came over into my work space and tried to make our colleague touch her breast and then she turned her buttocks toward him and stated, “don’t you want to touch it.”

I was in disbelief. I thought that I had seen it all but no, is definitely the wrong answer. We were getting ready for a team meeting so it was only a handful of us that were in the conference room so the same woman as before decided to sit in our colleagues lap.

He was very flustered but several on lookers thought it to be very amusing; not at all unprofessional and grounds for termination.  He would make many attempts by trying to distant himself from her but every day like clockwork she would come over to his desk placing her hands on him inappropriately. He even went so far as to speak with her about her inappropriate behavior but she was not going to take no for an answer.

This woman would make reference to others that our colleague would only speak with her, I and one other young lady just to make other co-workers believe that more than what meets the eye was going on.

Everyone witnessed this torture that he would endure day after day and all that they would say; he doesn’t say anything so he has to like it.

When you come to know someone you recognized things about their personality. What I realized about my colleague was that he was a man that did not warrant confrontation.

Finally, I said, enough is enough…you have to report her. Unfortunately, he still has to work with her but the physical advances has seized.

Getting up each morning is a task within itself but having to come to your place of employment and to be subjected to unwarranted sexual advances is devastating.  How can you concentrate on your daily work assignment when you have to be on guard throughout your work day?

Who would enjoy coming to work when you have to take the long way around to go into the break room, mailroom, or café just to ensure that you do not come into contact with someone that is determined to not give up on their unwarranted advances?

Please note that men or not exempt from sexual harassment within the workplace and men are not interested in all women.

There are many men who know how to be friends with women without attempting to become sexually involved with them. Friendship is strictly platonic, hands off…

Written by: -L.J. 12/14/2018