Unlike Mother’s Day, Father’s Day does not get a lot of hype but do not be misconstrued there are a lot of great Father’s out there. If you have a great Dad remember to let him know how great he is as often you can. If you know of any great Dad’s remind them of their awesomeness and to continue being ever present in the lives of their children. For all the men out there, that have the opportunity, man-up, do not keep putting off today for tomorrow. Promises are made to be broken; the same to be said about tomorrow. Wishing all the great men in the world, “A Happy Father’s Day!”
Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the most self-centered of them all?
If it is I, let me stand in my truth; let me admit that it is me and not say that it is you.
It is quite interesting as to how many of us are afraid to be totally honest with ourselves, about ourselves and/or insulted when some one tells us the truth. When some one tells us the truth, not a lie but facts that can be supported and proven, many of us react in a negative manner. Remember, the truth hurts. To know the truth is not a pretty thing because we are not perfect, and we are all guilty of some wrongdoing but many of us like to believe that we are innocent until proven guilty. Many of us know that deep down inside our gut is screaming that we are in the wrong, but we would rather go through life without ever admitting our wrong or apologizing to another for our shortcomings. We allow ourselves to be blindsided by pride, so we never do what is right; look inside of ourselves and see our true selves.
One of the things that many of us can admit to is that we are not always the best at reciprocating. Meaning, many of us have people that are truly in our corner. No matter the circumstance they are there; for emotional support, financial support; you name it, only sickness or death could keep them from being available. Each and everyone of us can count on at least two fingers of the very people that have never forsaken us but can the same be true from our viewpoint?
To answer the question, the answer is no, because we never truly see the value of the people that are always there for us. Many of us are chasing behind people that can care less about us because we are becoming of society of marginalized people. When we do not value our worth or know the value of our worth, we allow others to treat us less than, knowing that we deserve more.
I have had some people to state that they do not do the things that they know that they should do for the most important people in their lives is because they have done so much for others that never appreciated them or simply took advantage of them. As we all know that this a dog eats dog world, but it is love and compassion for one another that keeps this world efficacious. If we allow one bad apple to spoil the bunch then we all will become bad and spoil. I believe that we must allow a person the opportunity to prove us wrong; if not then we are all guilty of being biases, which will cause us to miss out on great connections with other human beings.
Remember that life is all about love and the connection with others; at the end of the day we have fond memories of those we loved and those that loved us. Doesn’t it feel great to be loved? Love is a beautiful thing…it is the real beauty that emits from our hearts, mind, body, and soul. Love is what reels others in…
For us to have a genuine true connection, we must start with self- evaluation. Do not be afraid of your truth and when someone tells you the truth about yourself, take a step back and revisit what was stated before reacting or becoming defensive. Get alone with yourself in your personal space where you can be real with yourself then ask yourself the hard questions and do not be afraid of the hurtful answers.
The truth will set us free… The truth allows us to grow and mature as a person and it allows us to expand and become better. We gain a conscious. We become aware, honest, and gain integrity.
The truth allows us the ability to be self-fulfilled, we do not have to lie, pretend, or be prideful. Nor, do we have to lose a great connection with others because we do not want to own up to our truth. Stand in your truth, do not get buried in your lie. Looking within and being truthful with ourselves is the same as standing in front of a mirror and truly seeing who you are as a person and loving that person in the mirror.
Written By: -L.J. on 05/18/2019
Written By: -L.J. on 05/18/2019
This is my second year having a small intimate Mother’s Day gathering with friends and family. I first came of with the idea to have a Mother’s Day gathering the year after my mother passed away.
It was to be a dinner that represented my friends and family that loss our mom’s but I could not have the initial dinner in 2017 due to the fact that I had loss several girl friends that I had wanted to invite to my 1st Mother’s Day Dinner.
Finally 2018 rolled around and I thought okay, I am going to do this on a small scale because I hadn’t did any social gatherings in a very long time. 2018 Mother’s Day Dinner was such a success and we all agreed that we must get together more.
Therefore, I elected to host a Mother’s Day Dinner once again. Each time I have to challenge myself and the ladies also anticipate to see what fresh ideas that I will come up with. The 2019 Mother’s Day Event was very successful and I have high hopes that we will continue this tradition on for years to come.
Hopefully, I can extend the invitation to a few more friends but I will just have to wait and see but for now enjoy the pictures.
Written By: -L.J. on 05/01/2019
Give Me My Flowers While I am Living
My heart is filled with such joy knowing that I had the opportunity of a lifetime, one that can never come again. I am so grateful to the Most High God for putting me in position to be able to care for my dying mother, if only for a short period of time. It was well worth it, and I would do it all over again if I could.
There is not one single one of us that want to experience the loss of a Mother. I have heard that the two greatest losses in a lifetime is that of a Mother and a that of a child. I wouldn’t want anyone to experience this grievance but there is no getting around it.
We live and we die. I like to believe that my Mom and I had a great relationship, she loved me, and I loved her. My Mother was a very kind, caring, and giving woman. My Mom loved and cared for the community, neighbors, and all that she encountered the way she loved and cared for children. My Mother was the epitome of a Woman, a Mother, A friend…she was the meaning of love.
For those of you who still have both your Mother and your Father that are so close that you could hug them if you wanted to or you could drive to see them, embrace it. If your parents have aged and become frail and weaken, care for them.
Care for them with love, respect, and dignity because no matter their age they are still the parent.
Many of us are so caught of in our everyday lives that if it was not for holidays our parents would not see nor hear from us. Some of our children do not really know their grandparents; our family history, our wisdom, nor of our medical history because we do not engage with those who hold the key of knowledge. If you want to know anything, get it now while it is available; straight from the source.
Although, the loss of a Parent is painful, it is a little easier to experience when you know that you were there and that you did what was needed during those most crucial times.
I have several friends that care for their moms. They accompany them to doctors appointments, outings, and weekend visits that allow their other sibling care givers a chance to regroup.
Having a support system is very important when you are caring for elderly or sickly parents, the more support the merrier, for it is so needed.
Many of us like to show up at the cemetery with flowers and balloons but there is no use for those things there. “Give me my flowers while I am living, there is nothing that I can do with them when I am gone.”
If any of you have ever seen the classic movie, “Imitation of Life.” Then you know what the ending was like for ‘Sarah Jane’ or ‘Penelope’, depending upon which rendition of the movie you watched.
Love your parents and spend as much time with them as possible. If you are unable to visit them often, write them, send them care packages but whatever you do be ever present in their lives. They need you the same way that you needed and relied on them when they were raising you.
Remember, once a man, twice a child. If we live long enough, we too will be our parents. Parents do not enjoy getting older, relying and depending upon their children but it is the process of life. We all need someone…
For those that we know that are childless but have been like a parent or an aunt or uncle to you, care for them as well. No one will make it through this life alone and sometimes it is the stranger that treats us most like family. The tables can always turn, you do not have to get old, you can fall ill, have an accident or any other life changing factor.
Whatever you do, think if this was me, how would I want to be treated or cared for. Love and care for your parents for it is only right to do so. No matter how good or bad you may believe them to have been they are still your parents, through them you are here. And remember that someone is always watching, learning, and mimicking…and that someone are your children.
Written By: -L.J. on 03/28/2019
Written By: -L.J. on 04/21/2019
Beauty Is Only Skin Deep
When I am out shopping, I run across many women that I feel are overly made-up, meaning their make-up is applied as if they are on a movie set getting ready for a monster scene. Their eye lashes appear very bulky, not natural, as if you gave a child a paint brush to apply paint.
I, myself am just a plain Jane, when I see other women that I recently describe, the words insecure, lack of confidence, or shame comes to mind. I believe that one does not feel comfortable in her own skin when she applies to much make-up, false eye lashes, and extremely long weave.
Many women cannot leave the house without all the unnecessary essentials, baggage. When we spend so much time on doing our make-up, hair, and nails we are not only losing focus on the important factors in life.
For example, our children, our finances, and the women that we are. When we go to these extreme measures to be beautiful; who are we getting overly dolled up for?
Who are the Beauty Police? Who is measuring our beauty? Who beauty standards are we trying to uphold? Women what are we doing to ourselves? We are killing ourselves for what? Do you not know that all of these are just distractions?
Many of us have the worst credit scores, are some of the worst parents, friends and mates but, yet ‘we fancy’.
Some of you look so well put together on the outside, so you think, but everything else around you are falling apart. Many have very unkempt homes, unkempt children, are not eating the best foods, and are robbing from Peter to pay Paul just to be beautiful.
My pastor made a statement, how women are basically taking their beauty tips from men, I, myself must admit that I agree whole heartily. When I look at some YouTube videos and see how women are applying their make-up, it is as if they are being transformed into a new person, a new identity without having to go under the knife.
Just as my Pastor stated they are making up their faces as if they are Transsexuals or are Drag men. They apply their make-up in this manner to make themselves appear more feminine, like women. So, why are we as women applying our make-up in this manner?
Not only, when I see overly made up women out, they tend to look down their noses at women that they do not believe to be at their caliber of beauty, ‘made up’ beauty’.
I instantly become tickled. I understand that they are wearing a mask to hide low self-esteem, scars, and their lack of confidence. Fear also plays a role in the trick of the eye in the illusion of this new beauty age. I have read articles where men divorce their wives after seeing them without their make-up and finding out only after having children that their wives had plastic surgery to enhance her appears.
What goes on in the dark will always come to the light, ladies. If you have children, you know that they are not going to look like your newly enhanced self…
Ladies, whatever is taking place or transpiring in your life, try to find healthier and positive ways to transform yourself into a new you. This is call self-reflection, look within and exam yourself then you can begin to examine those things that are outside of yourself; life-style, relationships, careers, etc. Beauty is only skin deep, it is what’s inside of you that makes you beautiful.
When we allow ourselves time to really get to know others, we look beyond their outward appears and see that their spirit is what enhances the light that release their hidden gem, their true beauty.
Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and what you see as just a rock, someone will take the time to polish it into a diamond. Sometimes we are still a diamond in the rough because we do not allow ourselves to be polished so that others can see that we are truly a diamond.
There are many ingredients that goes into the transformation of a beautiful person; personality, attitude, understanding, caring, trustworthiness and loyalty just to name a few.
Be good to yourself and treat your body well and it will yield tremendous results but remember no matter the extreme, you can enhance the physical but if it is not balanced with both the mental and emotional then you will continue the facade of unrealistic beauty.
Love everything about yourself but change those things about yourself that take away from your true and natural beauty.
Written By: -L.J. on 03/23/2019
There’s an Army Rising Up
Sometimes we ourselves are our own worst enemy. We push people away without even knowing that we are doing so. Many of us are just a landfill that is polluted with garbage from our past, but we refuse to recycle the trash. We refuse to renew our minds, our thoughts, and our associations and this is how garbage in never goes out.
When we surround ourselves with negative places, people, and things we allow an army to rise-up within our lives. When I was around seventeen years of age, I began to realize that I was a very unhappy young lady, and this was due to the people that I affiliated with. I started reading positive thinking magazines that my God Mother would get from her sister that attended AA meetings.
These magazines became an eye opener for me, and I began cutting ties with many people. I realized at that point in my life that it was better to surround myself with people that loved me. Surrounding yourself with people that love and care about your best interest gives you a sense of security. Love strengthens you and allows you to see clearly through your lenses of consciousness to know who is trustworthy, loyal, and genuine.
When you allow the enemy to cross the line you place your entire life and well-being at risk. We can lose everything just by association. For example, if you go into a store with friends and one of them are caught stealing because you are with them you are implicated as well. The same stands true when they say,” Birds of a feather flock together.”
Many of us know that we are apart of the wrong circles because our square peg never fits. So, why are you there? Although, we can pick our friends, we cannot choose our family; we surely can feed them with a long handle spoon. Some of our family members are just as detrimental as those we consider to be our enemies.
Our spouses, siblings, and our children themselves can revolt against us.
Jealousy, possessiveness, manipulation, and division are some of the tactics use to divide and conquer. A wise man once told me, “if your relationship with anyone ends, let it be because of you and that individual. Do not let it be because of other people. “Sometimes we go to our family members for advice or just to vent, this can turn out to be fatal, not all family members have your best interest at heart.
When I recall an incident with the “Rooster in the Hen house”, I went to my sister and a friend to express my concern about the accusations that two of the women at my job fostered about me and a colleague. Both my sister and my friend took this and ran with it. I had to later express to them both that they had hurt me, like the women at work. Except the hurt ran much deeper, trust was lost. When it states, go to God with everything in prayer, do just that.
Any relationship can be tested and dissolve due to others comparing their lives to yours; they have no idea because they are on the outside looking in. Everything that glitters is not gold! Wishing that you were someone else or wanting what others have is just another form of the enemy rising up (your mind).
Be careful what you think because you may create a cause and effect.
If you believe it…it becomes your truth, but is it the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
Know those that you surround yourself with and remember that we are all imperfect and if we are not careful, we can form an enemy in our minds that can cause an uproar among our family and friends. Remember that a healthy mind produces healthy thoughts and thus produces love and kindness.
Written By: -L.J. on 02/23/2019
The Timer Has Stopped
Time has run out for excuses… Many of us have more reasons why we cannot do something. We cannot do anything because we have never attempted or tried to do anything. We are so defeated by our excuses as to why we cannot do?
How many obstacles have you placed in your life today, just simply by stating that I will do it tomorrow?
Do you know how many people never live to see another day?
Do you know that putting off what can be done today for tomorrow is not promised to any of us?
Expiration is not based on age, race, color or creed; we all have an expiration date.
Do you ever ask yourself, why am I always making excuses? Is it due to fear? Are you afraid that you will fail?
Don’t you know that many great discoveries and successes in life were due to failed attempts. We will never know what we can do until we try. Some of us will put a barrier up and just say, “I am not ready.” Saying that you are not ready and not attempting is just another excuse.
Time will run out if we keep putting things off. We can only put off things for so long and time will run out and if you are around to reflect you will say, “I should have, I could have, I would have, but you did not. Remember that almost doesn’t count. Either you did or did not do it. Let’s stop wasting time by filling it up with more reasons why not then I can. Think of the Little Engine that could…when he tried; he knew that he could. Nothing can ever happen if we never try.
Stop! At this very moment write down at least ten things that are a priority that you continue to put off. Reflect over that list for a moment, is there anything off that list that can be done at this very moment? Is there anything on your list that will not take longer than 10 minutes to do?
No more excuses start tackling your list today. Prioritize your life…if you must create a schedule for yourself, do so. At some point we are going to have to just do it. And remember the longer that we put off doing things the more we will have to do when we finally tackle it.
For instance, if you have only one load of laundry today and you continue to put it off for a month, how many loads of laundry will you have to do at this time. Wouldn’t it have been much easier to do a load a week or to not go past the two-week mark. Not only do you have to wash and fold the clothes you must put them away. This is only one area in our lives that we must prioritize but imagine if we simplified as many areas in our lives as possible, how easier our lives would be and the time we would have on our hands just for ourselves?
It is not about how we feel this is the easiest way for us to make an excuse. We must mustard up the strength to do the things that need to be done in a timely manner. Remember that excuses put us farther away from fulfilling our commitments, goals and dreams. No more excuses …the timer has stopped.