Father’s Need Love Too!

Unlike Mother’s Day, Father’s Day does not get a lot of hype but do not be misconstrued there are a lot of great Father’s out there. If you have a great Dad remember to let him know how great he is as often you can. If you know of any great Dad’s remind them of their awesomeness and to continue being ever present in the lives of their children. For all the men out there, that have the opportunity, man-up, do not keep putting off today for tomorrow. Promises are made to be broken; the same to be said about tomorrow. Wishing all the great men in the world, “A Happy Father’s Day!”

Mirror Mirror

Mirror Mirror

Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the most self-centered of them all?

If it is I, let me stand in my truth; let me admit that it is me and not say that it is you.

It is quite interesting as to how many of us are afraid to be totally honest with ourselves, about ourselves and/or insulted when some one tells us the truth. When some one tells us the truth, not a lie but facts that can be supported and proven, many of us react in a negative manner. Remember, the truth hurts. To know the truth is not a pretty thing because we are not perfect, and we are all guilty of some wrongdoing but many of us like to believe that we are innocent until proven guilty. Many of us know that deep down inside our gut is screaming that we are in the wrong, but we would rather go through life without ever admitting our wrong or apologizing to another for our shortcomings. We allow ourselves to be blindsided by pride, so we never do what is right; look inside of ourselves and see our true selves.

One of the things that many of us can admit to is that we are not always the best at reciprocating. Meaning, many of us have people that are truly in our corner. No matter the circumstance they are there; for emotional support, financial support; you name it, only sickness or death could keep them from being available. Each and everyone of us can count on at least two fingers of the very people that have never forsaken us but can the same be true from our viewpoint?

To answer the question, the answer is no, because we never truly see the value of the people that are always there for us. Many of us are chasing behind people that can care less about us because we are becoming of society of marginalized people. When we do not value our worth or know the value of our worth, we allow others to treat us less than, knowing that we deserve more.

I have had some people to state that they do not do the things that they know that they should do for the most important people in their lives is because they have done so much for others that never appreciated them or simply took advantage of them. As we all know that this a dog eats dog world, but it is love and compassion for one another that keeps this world efficacious. If we allow one bad apple to spoil the bunch then we all will become bad and spoil. I believe that we must allow a person the opportunity to prove us wrong; if not then we are all guilty of being biases, which will cause us to miss out on great connections with other human beings.

Remember that life is all about love and the connection with others; at the end of the day we have fond memories of those we loved and those that loved us. Doesn’t it feel great to be loved? Love is a beautiful thing…it is the real beauty that emits from our hearts, mind, body, and soul. Love is what reels others in…

For us to have a genuine true connection, we must start with self- evaluation. Do not be afraid of your truth and when someone tells you the truth about yourself, take a step back and revisit what was stated before reacting or becoming defensive. Get alone with yourself in your personal space where you can be real with yourself then ask yourself the hard questions and do not be afraid of the hurtful answers.

The truth will set us free… The truth allows us to grow and mature as a person and it allows us to expand and become better. We gain a conscious. We become aware, honest, and gain integrity.

The truth allows us the ability to be self-fulfilled, we do not have to lie, pretend, or be prideful. Nor, do we have to lose a great connection with others because we do not want to own up to our truth. Stand in your truth, do not get buried in your lie. Looking within and being truthful with ourselves is the same as standing in front of a mirror and truly seeing who you are as a person and loving that person in the mirror.

 

Written By: -L.J. on 05/18/2019

Gate Keepers

Gate Keepers
Many of us have applied for positions or are in positions that we feel that there is either no way in or no way out; no advancement, no transfer; only to keep looking outward. Many of us have applied for internal transfers within the companies that we work for only to find that the only way out is to leave the company completely or by accepting a lateral transfer if you are not blocked by a Gate Keeper.
It is quite astonishing how you can be negatively labeled but the Gate Keepers will not allow you the opportunity to transfer internally.  We have become a society of weaklings …We are ruled by emotions…we don’t like someone due to  personal feelings but we would hinder that person from advancement because we know that they would flourish and excel if only the Gatekeeper’s would stop trying to keep them from entering or exiting.
When you possess leadership qualities, confidence, and intelligence; you become a walking billboard…” I AM A TERROIST.” If any of you watch the news you know exactly how so-called terrorist are treated.
The Gate keepers are continuously trying to find ways to sabotage employees or co-workers who are not afraid to stand up for themselves.
Gate Keepers can also, be those persons who are always stating that they hate their jobs, but they never seized the opportunity to go else where but are always telling the newcomers that they should not stay with the company.
The Gate Keepers never have anything good to say about the company…Why are you still here? You must be very careful when dealing with Gatekeepers because they are very cunning, they try to gain your confidence and trust, they are like a double edge sword. They are cutting you at every turn.
My old colleague is currently facing some encounters with a prior sexual harasser that has become bitter due to her fail attempts of sexual advancement. Since she has not formulated the right potion to bed my old colleague, she has reached into her cauldron to find more tactics to sabotage him.
If you recall from the article, “The Rooster in the Hen House,” You recall all of her double minded tactics. In one breathe she was trying to coerce him into going out with her then she was stating that he was gay because he would not bed her.  The saga continues…
She has reached the end of her rope where she has simply hung herself.  She will be transferring to another location but in the meantime, she is hiding work from him, so that it looks as if he is not doing his job. She has become his time clock; watching his every move and reporting his comings and goings. She has enlisted some other colleagues to get in on her plan to hold out on the work that should be dispense to my old colleague in order to retaliate against him for nothing taking her up on her prior offers.
Gatekeepers can pose a great disadvantage to your career and the sad thing about them is that they seek you out.
You do all that you can to stay off their radar but there is no safe haven unless you get out. Remember, Gate Keepers are very cunning, and they appear very upstanding and trustworthy, so they are most likely to be believed over you. They do things very subtlety and try their best to catch you off guard or try to get you to react so that you appear to be the problem.
Gate keepers go to many extremes to make your work life a living hell. Unfortunately, there is no getting around a Gate Keeper, especially if you are the person that they want to keep… their eye on…from advancing…in the same position…

 

Written By: -L.J. on 05/18/2019

Mother’s Day Event Pictures!

This is my second year having a small intimate Mother’s Day gathering with friends and family. I first came of with the idea to have a Mother’s Day gathering the year after my mother passed away.

It was to be a dinner that represented my friends and family that loss our mom’s but I could not have the initial dinner in 2017 due to the fact that I had loss several girl friends that I had wanted to invite to my 1st Mother’s Day Dinner.

Finally 2018 rolled around and I thought okay, I am going to do this on a small scale because I hadn’t did any social gatherings in a very long time. 2018 Mother’s Day Dinner was such a success and we all agreed that we must get together more.

Therefore, I elected to host a Mother’s Day Dinner once again. Each time I have to challenge myself and the ladies also anticipate to see what fresh ideas that I will come up with. The 2019 Mother’s Day Event was very successful and I have high hopes that we will continue this tradition on for years to come.

Hopefully, I can extend the invitation to a few more friends but I will just have to wait and see but for now enjoy the pictures.

 

The Inevitable

The Inevitable
I know that there are many that say that they do not believe in the Creator, but I beg the differ. Like my Pastor often says, “Can’t I prove it.”
The process of life is that we are born and then we will die, although some of us enter this world dead on arrival. Some of us die young and some of us die at a ripe old age but our fates are the same, death. There is no way of getting around it; although man is working extremely hard at finding a way to cheat death. The same stands true in the process of aging; if you live long enough you are going to age. Many people are going under the knife to beat getting old at its own game but are losing every time.
Many years ago, I worked with several people that I knew personally that had plastic surgery; a face lift, sex change operation, or just to lift a drooping eye. And what I had found is that the first surgery would not be their last surgery. The skin that many have lifted becomes loose again, so another surgery is needed to correct the process of aging.
If we were in control of our own destiny, why can’t we stay young? Why do we have to die, when many of us do not want to die? Why can’t we bring our love ones or even ourselves back to life? We seem to believe that we are mighty and strong but are limited?
Why is this so?
I hate to beat a dead horse to death, but we cannot do anything unless our creator wakes us up each day. If you cannot raise yourself or your love one from the dead, then you cannot wake yourself up each day. Some people die in their sleep, does this mean that they had no desire to wake up? Were they ready for an eternal rest?
Many of us plan out our days because we have the desire to wake up and smell the roses the following days, weeks, or years to come. Just because it is desired does not mean it will happen…
As much as we try to armor up against aging and dying, guess what? There is nothing that we can do to stop the process of life.
All we can do is live each day as if it was our last, keep loving each other for the torch of love will forever burn in the hearts of those who has allowed us to love them. Let go and let God…All is in His will…the Creator. He is known by many names…He gives life and he take it away. Life is for the living…so live on until death do us part.

 

Written By: -L.J. on 05/01/2019

Give Me My Flowers While I Am Living

Give Me My Flowers While I am Living

My heart is filled with such joy knowing that I had the opportunity of a lifetime, one that can never come again. I am so grateful to the Most High God for putting me in position to be able to care for my dying mother, if only for a short period of time. It was well worth it, and I would do it all over again if I could.

There is not one single one of us that want to experience the loss of a Mother. I have heard that the two greatest losses in a lifetime is that of a Mother and a that of a child. I wouldn’t want anyone to experience this grievance but there is no getting around it.

We live and we die. I like to believe that my Mom and I had a great relationship, she loved me, and I loved her. My Mother was a very kind, caring, and giving woman. My Mom loved and cared for the community, neighbors, and all that she encountered the way she loved and cared for children. My Mother was the epitome of a Woman, a Mother, A friend…she was the meaning of love.

For those of you who still have both your Mother and your Father that are so close that you could hug them if you wanted to or you could drive to see them, embrace it. If your parents have aged and become frail and weaken, care for them.

Care for them with love, respect, and dignity because no matter their age they are still the parent.

Many of us are so caught of in our everyday lives that if it was not for holidays our parents would not see nor hear from us. Some of our children do not really know their grandparents; our family history, our wisdom, nor of our medical history because we do not engage with those who hold the key of knowledge. If you want to know anything, get it now while it is available; straight from the source.

Although, the loss of a Parent is painful, it is a little easier to experience when you know that you were there and that you did what was needed during those most crucial times.

I have several friends that care for their moms. They accompany them to doctors appointments, outings, and weekend visits that allow their other sibling care givers a chance to regroup.

Having a support system is very important when you are caring for elderly or sickly parents, the more support the merrier, for it is so needed.

Many of us like to show up at the cemetery with flowers and balloons but there is no use for those things there. “Give me my flowers while I am living, there is nothing that I can do with them when I am gone.”

If any of you have ever seen the classic movie, “Imitation of Life.” Then you know what the ending was like for ‘Sarah Jane’ or ‘Penelope’, depending upon which rendition of the movie you watched.

Love your parents and spend as much time with them as possible. If you are unable to visit them often, write them, send them care packages but whatever you do be ever present in their lives. They need you the same way that you needed and relied on them when they were raising you.

Remember, once a man, twice a child.  If we live long enough, we too will be our parents. Parents do not enjoy getting older, relying and depending upon their children but it is the process of life. We all need someone…

For those that we know that are childless but have been like a parent or an aunt or uncle to you, care for them as well. No one will make it through this life alone and sometimes it is the stranger that treats us most like family. The tables can always turn, you do not have to get old, you can fall ill, have an accident or any other life changing factor.

Whatever you do, think if this was me, how would I want to be treated or cared for. Love and care for your parents for it is only right to do so. No matter how good or bad you may believe them to have been they are still your parents, through them you are here. And remember that someone is always watching, learning, and mimicking…and that someone are your children.

 

Written By: -L.J. on 03/28/2019

Blood Suckers

Blood Suckers
The word Blood Sucker is one that many of us have heard about in Urban myths in reference to Vampires. We know that Vampires prey on weak individuals while leeches forage on those that are strong. If you have never heard the term Blood Sucker, you can say that you have dealt with individuals or companies where you are someone that you know have been sucked dry by a Vampire or a leech.
As I always say, being aware of your associations is very important, I cannot express this enough. It doesn’t matter how weak or strong you maybe, there is always someone patiently waiting and lurking for the perfect storm or situation to pounce upon you. It is sad but so true that trusting others and letting down your guards can cost you your life; not necessarily in a literal sense but your life all the same.
When listening to the news are reading the newspaper you often hear warnings for the elderly population to be aware of scams. One of the biggest scams used on seniors are done over the phone and/or the computer. The Social Security Administration office is always reiterating that they would never contact clients via telephone. Government entities such as the Social Security Administration office, the Internal Revenue Services, etc. would send any pertinent information to clients by mail. Senior Citizens can often become an easy target for Vampires since some older adults are lonely and live alone.
Many older adults want to hear a friendly familiar voice, to know that they are not alone are have someone around that they believe they can trust. I find that no matter how many times you say to an elderly person that they could just let the phone ring; you do not have to answer the phone they always do. I am not sure if it is out of habit or in hopes that it may be a love one on the receiving end of the call. When you think about it, you do not have to be an elderly adult and receive calls that are most likely to be a scammer. Many Fraudsters try to address you by your first name when they contact you by phone; as if they know you on a personally.
I will never forget a time that I almost fell prey to a scam…I have always received information in the mail in regards to supporting or making a donation to help American Veterans; this particular time, I had some extra monies so I decided that I would send in a donation to support the American Veterans.
After I sent in my donation, I began receiving phone calls from someone that stated that they were disabled and were selling products to help to support those with disabilities. The lady over the phone gave me the spill and I had decided that I would purchase some light bulbs. She then stated that she did not have any hands and that her manager would have to call me back to finalize the sell. We then disconnected our call and something inside of me said to google the phone number.
When I googled the number, I saw that there were many negative reviews about this said, phone number as well as it being a scam. Many reviews stated that those who contacted you from this number would never leave a message, they would just try calling you again until someone answered the call. I found this to be true; so when I finally answered the returned  call there was a gentlemen on the phone, because of my research I stated to him to never call my phone again because I knew that they were running a scam and that I would contact the authorities if they ever contacted me again.
Being swindled or scammed can happen to any number of us; age does not discriminate. There are many cases where people are taken advantage of by the very people that they trust; both friends and family. I remember watching a program about a dying woman that had planned to leave everything that she owed to whom she considered to be her best friend. This woman’s so-called best friend decided to take her life because she did not want to wait for her friend to pass away before she would receive her friend’s estate.
Many companies can be just as unscrumptious as people we know, for instance there was a time that I worked at a Bakery and it was an independent chain. What you may consider a small family business. I was hired by this bakery to be a counter clerk, meaning that I would work the counter and package up the customers bake goods and other items that they purchased. What I had witnessed on numerous occasions was that the Grandmother would sell the pastries at a higher price than the regular sale price. If some pastries were bigger in size, then she would sell them at a higher price, where do they do this at?
I am sure that each of us have our own stories to tell but we must be careful, read the fine print, know who you are doing business with and especially who you call friend.

 

Written By: -L.J. on 04/21/2019

Beauty Is Only Skin Deep

Beauty Is Only Skin Deep

When I am out shopping, I run across many women that I feel are overly made-up, meaning their make-up is applied as if they are on a movie set getting ready for a monster scene. Their eye lashes appear very bulky, not natural, as if you gave a child a paint brush to apply paint.

I, myself am just a plain Jane, when I see other women that I recently describe, the words insecure, lack of confidence, or shame comes to mind. I believe that one does not feel comfortable in her own skin when she applies to much make-up, false eye lashes, and extremely long weave.

Many women cannot leave the house without all the unnecessary essentials, baggage. When we spend so much time on doing our make-up, hair, and nails we are not only losing focus on the important factors in life.

For example, our children, our finances, and the women that we are. When we go to these extreme measures to be beautiful; who are we getting overly dolled up for?

Who are the Beauty Police? Who is measuring our beauty? Who beauty standards are we trying to uphold? Women what are we doing to ourselves? We are killing ourselves for what? Do you not know that all of these are just distractions?

Many of us have the worst credit scores, are some of the worst parents, friends and mates but, yet ‘we fancy’.

Some of you look so well put together on the outside, so you think, but everything else around you are falling apart. Many have very unkempt homes, unkempt children, are not eating the best foods, and are robbing from Peter to pay Paul just to be beautiful.

My pastor made a statement, how women are basically taking their beauty tips from men, I, myself must admit that I agree whole heartily. When I look at some YouTube videos and see how women are applying their make-up, it is as if they are being transformed into a new person, a new identity without having to go under the knife.

Just as my Pastor stated they are making up their faces as if they are Transsexuals or are Drag men. They apply their make-up in this manner to make themselves appear more feminine, like women. So, why are we as women applying our make-up in this manner?

Not only, when I see overly made up women out, they tend to look down their noses at women that they do not believe to be at their caliber of beauty, ‘made up’ beauty’.

I instantly become tickled.  I understand that they are wearing a mask to hide low self-esteem, scars, and their lack of confidence. Fear also plays a role in the trick of the eye in the illusion of this new beauty age. I have read articles where men divorce their wives after seeing them without their make-up and finding out only after having children that their wives had plastic surgery to enhance her appears.

What goes on in the dark will always come to the light, ladies. If you have children, you know that they are not going to look like your newly enhanced self…

Ladies, whatever is taking place or transpiring in your life, try to find healthier and positive ways to transform yourself into a new you. This is call self-reflection, look within and exam yourself then you can begin to examine those things that are outside of yourself; life-style, relationships, careers, etc. Beauty is only skin deep, it is what’s inside of you that makes you beautiful.

When we allow ourselves time to really get to know others, we look beyond their outward appears and see that their spirit is what enhances the light that release their hidden gem, their true beauty.

Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and what you see as just a rock, someone will take the time to polish it into a diamond. Sometimes we are still a diamond in the rough because we do not allow ourselves to be polished so that others can see that we are truly a diamond.

There are many ingredients that goes into the transformation of a beautiful person; personality, attitude, understanding, caring, trustworthiness and loyalty just to name a few.

Be good to yourself and treat your body well and it will yield tremendous results but remember no matter the extreme, you can enhance the physical but if it is not balanced with both the mental and emotional then you will continue the facade of unrealistic beauty.

Love everything about yourself but change those things about yourself that take away from your true and natural beauty.

 

Written By: -L.J. on 03/23/2019

There’s an Army Rising Up

There’s an Army Rising Up

Sometimes we ourselves are our own worst enemy. We push people away without even knowing that we are doing so. Many of us are just a landfill that is polluted with garbage from our past, but we refuse to recycle the trash. We refuse to renew our minds, our thoughts, and our associations and this is how garbage in never goes out.

When we surround ourselves with negative places, people, and things we allow an army to rise-up within our lives.  When I was around seventeen years of age, I began to realize that I was a very unhappy young lady, and this was due to the people that I affiliated with. I started reading positive thinking magazines that my God Mother would get from her sister that attended AA meetings.

These magazines became an eye opener for me, and I began cutting ties with many people. I realized at that point in my life that it was better to surround myself with people that loved me. Surrounding yourself with people that love and care about your best interest gives you a sense of security. Love strengthens you and allows you to see clearly through your lenses of consciousness to know who is trustworthy, loyal, and genuine.

When you allow the enemy to cross the line you place your entire life and well-being at risk. We can lose everything just by association. For example, if you go into a store with friends and one of them are caught stealing because you are with them you are implicated as well. The same stands true when they say,” Birds of a feather flock together.”

Many of us know that we are apart of the wrong circles because our square peg never fits. So, why are you there? Although, we can pick our friends, we cannot choose our family; we surely can feed them with a long handle spoon. Some of our family members are just as detrimental as those we consider to be our enemies.

Our spouses, siblings, and our children themselves can revolt against us.

Jealousy, possessiveness, manipulation, and division are some of the tactics use to divide and conquer. A wise man once told me, “if your relationship with anyone ends, let it be because of you and that individual. Do not let it be because of other people. “Sometimes we go to our family members for advice or just to vent, this can turn out to be fatal, not all family members have your best interest at heart.

When I recall an incident with the “Rooster in the Hen house”, I went to my sister and a friend to express my concern about the accusations that two of the women at my job fostered about me and a colleague. Both my sister and my friend took this and ran with it. I had to later express to them both that they had hurt me, like the women at work. Except the hurt ran much deeper, trust was lost. When it states, go to God with everything in prayer, do just that.

Any relationship can be tested and dissolve due to others comparing their lives to yours; they have no idea because they are on the outside looking in. Everything that glitters is not gold! Wishing that you were someone else or wanting what others have is just another form of the enemy rising up (your mind).

Be careful what you think because you may create a cause and effect.

If you believe it…it becomes your truth, but is it the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

Know those that you surround yourself with and remember that we are all imperfect and if we are not careful, we can form an enemy in our minds that can cause an uproar among our family and friends. Remember that a healthy mind produces healthy thoughts and thus produces love and kindness.

 

Written By: -L.J. on 02/23/2019

The Timer Has Stopped

The Timer Has Stopped

Time has run out for excuses… Many of us have more reasons why we cannot do something. We cannot do anything because we have never attempted or tried to do anything. We are so defeated by our excuses as to why we cannot do?

How many obstacles have you placed in your life today, just simply by stating that I will do it tomorrow?

Do you know how many people never live to see another day?

Do you know that putting off what can be done today for tomorrow is not promised to any of us?

Expiration is not based on age, race, color or creed; we all have an expiration date.

Do you ever ask yourself, why am I always making excuses?  Is it due to fear? Are you afraid that you will fail?

Don’t you know that many great discoveries and successes in life were due to failed attempts. We will never know what we can do until we try. Some of us will put a barrier up and just say, “I am not ready.” Saying that you are not ready and not attempting is just another excuse.

Time will run out if we keep putting things off. We can only put off things for so long and time will run out and if you are around to reflect you will say, “I should have, I could have, I would have, but you did not. Remember that almost doesn’t count. Either you did or did not do it. Let’s stop wasting time by filling it up with more reasons why not then I can. Think of the Little Engine that could…when he tried; he knew that he could. Nothing can ever happen if we never try.

Stop! At this very moment write down at least ten things that are a priority that you continue to put off. Reflect over that list for a moment, is there anything off that list that can be done at this very moment? Is there anything on your list that will not take longer than 10 minutes to do?

No more excuses start tackling your list today. Prioritize your life…if you must create a schedule for yourself, do so. At some point we are going to have to just do it. And remember the longer that we put off doing things the more we will have to do when we finally tackle it.

For instance, if you have only one load of laundry today and you continue to put it off for a month, how many loads of laundry will you have to do at this time. Wouldn’t it have been much easier to do a load a week or to not go past the two-week mark. Not only do you have to wash and fold the clothes you must put them away. This is only one area in our lives that we must prioritize but imagine if we simplified as many areas in our lives as possible, how easier our lives would be and the time we would have on our hands just for ourselves?

It is not about how we feel this is the easiest way for us to make an excuse. We must mustard up the strength to do the things that need to be done in a timely manner. Remember that excuses put us farther away from fulfilling our commitments, goals and dreams.  No more excuses …the timer has stopped.

 

Written by: -L.J. 02/23/2019