Give Me My Flowers While I am Living

My heart is filled with such joy knowing that I had the opportunity of a lifetime, one that can never come again. I am so grateful to the Most High God for putting me in position to be able to care for my dying mother, if only for a short period of time. It was well worth it, and I would do it all over again if I could.

There is not one single one of us that want to experience the loss of a Mother. I have heard that the two greatest losses in a lifetime is that of a Mother and a that of a child. I wouldn’t want anyone to experience this grievance but there is no getting around it.

We live and we die. I like to believe that my Mom and I had a great relationship, she loved me, and I loved her. My Mother was a very kind, caring, and giving woman. My Mom loved and cared for the community, neighbors, and all that she encountered the way she loved and cared for children. My Mother was the epitome of a Woman, a Mother, A friend…she was the meaning of love.

For those of you who still have both your Mother and your Father that are so close that you could hug them if you wanted to or you could drive to see them, embrace it. If your parents have aged and become frail and weaken, care for them.

Care for them with love, respect, and dignity because no matter their age they are still the parent.

Many of us are so caught of in our everyday lives that if it was not for holidays our parents would not see nor hear from us. Some of our children do not really know their grandparents; our family history, our wisdom, nor of our medical history because we do not engage with those who hold the key of knowledge. If you want to know anything, get it now while it is available; straight from the source.

Although, the loss of a Parent is painful, it is a little easier to experience when you know that you were there and that you did what was needed during those most crucial times.

I have several friends that care for their moms. They accompany them to doctors appointments, outings, and weekend visits that allow their other sibling care givers a chance to regroup.

Having a support system is very important when you are caring for elderly or sickly parents, the more support the merrier, for it is so needed.

Many of us like to show up at the cemetery with flowers and balloons but there is no use for those things there. “Give me my flowers while I am living, there is nothing that I can do with them when I am gone.”

If any of you have ever seen the classic movie, “Imitation of Life.” Then you know what the ending was like for ‘Sarah Jane’ or ‘Penelope’, depending upon which rendition of the movie you watched.

Love your parents and spend as much time with them as possible. If you are unable to visit them often, write them, send them care packages but whatever you do be ever present in their lives. They need you the same way that you needed and relied on them when they were raising you.

Remember, once a man, twice a child.  If we live long enough, we too will be our parents. Parents do not enjoy getting older, relying and depending upon their children but it is the process of life. We all need someone…

For those that we know that are childless but have been like a parent or an aunt or uncle to you, care for them as well. No one will make it through this life alone and sometimes it is the stranger that treats us most like family. The tables can always turn, you do not have to get old, you can fall ill, have an accident or any other life changing factor.

Whatever you do, think if this was me, how would I want to be treated or cared for. Love and care for your parents for it is only right to do so. No matter how good or bad you may believe them to have been they are still your parents, through them you are here. And remember that someone is always watching, learning, and mimicking…and that someone are your children.

Written By: -L.J. on 03/28/2019