Beauty Is Only Skin Deep

Beauty Is Only Skin Deep

When I am out shopping, I run across many women that I feel are overly made-up, meaning their make-up is applied as if they are on a movie set getting ready for a monster scene. Their eye lashes appear very bulky, not natural, as if you gave a child a paint brush to apply paint.

I, myself am just a plain Jane, when I see other women that I recently describe, the words insecure, lack of confidence, or shame comes to mind. I believe that one does not feel comfortable in her own skin when she applies to much make-up, false eye lashes, and extremely long weave.

Many women cannot leave the house without all the unnecessary essentials, baggage. When we spend so much time on doing our make-up, hair, and nails we are not only losing focus on the important factors in life.

For example, our children, our finances, and the women that we are. When we go to these extreme measures to be beautiful; who are we getting overly dolled up for?

Who are the Beauty Police? Who is measuring our beauty? Who beauty standards are we trying to uphold? Women what are we doing to ourselves? We are killing ourselves for what? Do you not know that all of these are just distractions?

Many of us have the worst credit scores, are some of the worst parents, friends and mates but, yet ‘we fancy’.

Some of you look so well put together on the outside, so you think, but everything else around you are falling apart. Many have very unkempt homes, unkempt children, are not eating the best foods, and are robbing from Peter to pay Paul just to be beautiful.

My pastor made a statement, how women are basically taking their beauty tips from men, I, myself must admit that I agree whole heartily. When I look at some YouTube videos and see how women are applying their make-up, it is as if they are being transformed into a new person, a new identity without having to go under the knife.

Just as my Pastor stated they are making up their faces as if they are Transsexuals or are Drag men. They apply their make-up in this manner to make themselves appear more feminine, like women. So, why are we as women applying our make-up in this manner?

Not only, when I see overly made up women out, they tend to look down their noses at women that they do not believe to be at their caliber of beauty, ‘made up’ beauty’.

I instantly become tickled.  I understand that they are wearing a mask to hide low self-esteem, scars, and their lack of confidence. Fear also plays a role in the trick of the eye in the illusion of this new beauty age. I have read articles where men divorce their wives after seeing them without their make-up and finding out only after having children that their wives had plastic surgery to enhance her appears.

What goes on in the dark will always come to the light, ladies. If you have children, you know that they are not going to look like your newly enhanced self…

Ladies, whatever is taking place or transpiring in your life, try to find healthier and positive ways to transform yourself into a new you. This is call self-reflection, look within and exam yourself then you can begin to examine those things that are outside of yourself; life-style, relationships, careers, etc. Beauty is only skin deep, it is what’s inside of you that makes you beautiful.

When we allow ourselves time to really get to know others, we look beyond their outward appears and see that their spirit is what enhances the light that release their hidden gem, their true beauty.

Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and what you see as just a rock, someone will take the time to polish it into a diamond. Sometimes we are still a diamond in the rough because we do not allow ourselves to be polished so that others can see that we are truly a diamond.

There are many ingredients that goes into the transformation of a beautiful person; personality, attitude, understanding, caring, trustworthiness and loyalty just to name a few.

Be good to yourself and treat your body well and it will yield tremendous results but remember no matter the extreme, you can enhance the physical but if it is not balanced with both the mental and emotional then you will continue the facade of unrealistic beauty.

Love everything about yourself but change those things about yourself that take away from your true and natural beauty.


Written By: -L.J. on 03/23/2019

There’s an Army Rising Up

There’s an Army Rising Up

Sometimes we ourselves are our own worst enemy. We push people away without even knowing that we are doing so. Many of us are just a landfill that is polluted with garbage from our past, but we refuse to recycle the trash. We refuse to renew our minds, our thoughts, and our associations and this is how garbage in never goes out.

When we surround ourselves with negative places, people, and things we allow an army to rise-up within our lives.  When I was around seventeen years of age, I began to realize that I was a very unhappy young lady, and this was due to the people that I affiliated with. I started reading positive thinking magazines that my God Mother would get from her sister that attended AA meetings.

These magazines became an eye opener for me, and I began cutting ties with many people. I realized at that point in my life that it was better to surround myself with people that loved me. Surrounding yourself with people that love and care about your best interest gives you a sense of security. Love strengthens you and allows you to see clearly through your lenses of consciousness to know who is trustworthy, loyal, and genuine.

When you allow the enemy to cross the line you place your entire life and well-being at risk. We can lose everything just by association. For example, if you go into a store with friends and one of them are caught stealing because you are with them you are implicated as well. The same stands true when they say,” Birds of a feather flock together.”

Many of us know that we are apart of the wrong circles because our square peg never fits. So, why are you there? Although, we can pick our friends, we cannot choose our family; we surely can feed them with a long handle spoon. Some of our family members are just as detrimental as those we consider to be our enemies.

Our spouses, siblings, and our children themselves can revolt against us.

Jealousy, possessiveness, manipulation, and division are some of the tactics use to divide and conquer. A wise man once told me, “if your relationship with anyone ends, let it be because of you and that individual. Do not let it be because of other people. “Sometimes we go to our family members for advice or just to vent, this can turn out to be fatal, not all family members have your best interest at heart.

When I recall an incident with the “Rooster in the Hen house”, I went to my sister and a friend to express my concern about the accusations that two of the women at my job fostered about me and a colleague. Both my sister and my friend took this and ran with it. I had to later express to them both that they had hurt me, like the women at work. Except the hurt ran much deeper, trust was lost. When it states, go to God with everything in prayer, do just that.

Any relationship can be tested and dissolve due to others comparing their lives to yours; they have no idea because they are on the outside looking in. Everything that glitters is not gold! Wishing that you were someone else or wanting what others have is just another form of the enemy rising up (your mind).

Be careful what you think because you may create a cause and effect.

If you believe it…it becomes your truth, but is it the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

Know those that you surround yourself with and remember that we are all imperfect and if we are not careful, we can form an enemy in our minds that can cause an uproar among our family and friends. Remember that a healthy mind produces healthy thoughts and thus produces love and kindness.


Written By: -L.J. on 02/23/2019

The Timer Has Stopped

The Timer Has Stopped

Time has run out for excuses… Many of us have more reasons why we cannot do something. We cannot do anything because we have never attempted or tried to do anything. We are so defeated by our excuses as to why we cannot do?

How many obstacles have you placed in your life today, just simply by stating that I will do it tomorrow?

Do you know how many people never live to see another day?

Do you know that putting off what can be done today for tomorrow is not promised to any of us?

Expiration is not based on age, race, color or creed; we all have an expiration date.

Do you ever ask yourself, why am I always making excuses?  Is it due to fear? Are you afraid that you will fail?

Don’t you know that many great discoveries and successes in life were due to failed attempts. We will never know what we can do until we try. Some of us will put a barrier up and just say, “I am not ready.” Saying that you are not ready and not attempting is just another excuse.

Time will run out if we keep putting things off. We can only put off things for so long and time will run out and if you are around to reflect you will say, “I should have, I could have, I would have, but you did not. Remember that almost doesn’t count. Either you did or did not do it. Let’s stop wasting time by filling it up with more reasons why not then I can. Think of the Little Engine that could…when he tried; he knew that he could. Nothing can ever happen if we never try.

Stop! At this very moment write down at least ten things that are a priority that you continue to put off. Reflect over that list for a moment, is there anything off that list that can be done at this very moment? Is there anything on your list that will not take longer than 10 minutes to do?

No more excuses start tackling your list today. Prioritize your life…if you must create a schedule for yourself, do so. At some point we are going to have to just do it. And remember the longer that we put off doing things the more we will have to do when we finally tackle it.

For instance, if you have only one load of laundry today and you continue to put it off for a month, how many loads of laundry will you have to do at this time. Wouldn’t it have been much easier to do a load a week or to not go past the two-week mark. Not only do you have to wash and fold the clothes you must put them away. This is only one area in our lives that we must prioritize but imagine if we simplified as many areas in our lives as possible, how easier our lives would be and the time we would have on our hands just for ourselves?

It is not about how we feel this is the easiest way for us to make an excuse. We must mustard up the strength to do the things that need to be done in a timely manner. Remember that excuses put us farther away from fulfilling our commitments, goals and dreams.  No more excuses …the timer has stopped.


Written by: -L.J. 02/23/2019

It’s Me or the Grave

It’s Me or the Grave

We are being slaughtered everyday by the very people that confess to loving and caring for us. Everyday that we remain in unhealthy relationships (marriages, friendships, Kinship), we are sub-coming to sickness or and early death.

Until each of us learn to love ourselves, we cannot love anyone else. What most of us do not understand is that love is not about you all the time. Many of us proclaim to love vocally only, no action or substance to prove your love for another.

It is very disheartening when someone say that they love you but you cannot feel it.

When you are pulling all the weight and they just stand on the side line watching but never offering to help you carry the load. Many will use the excuse, “you did not ask for my help?”

Do you really need to be asked?

What happened to just roll up your sleeves and jumping in to assist where it is needed?

You can turn yourself into a doormat and those that say that they love you will wipe their feet on you and keep stepping on you day after day. Things will continue this way until you learn that loving yourself is important. It is important to your health, mind, body, spirit, and well-being. You need to love you in order to sustain. When you are dealing with others that you love and they don’t know what love is, you must set boundaries.

I always say, if I am 10 on your list then you are 10 on my list. Why should I make you #1 and I am only #10 on your list? I know that it is easy to say that we should not have any expectations of others, but I beg the differ. Sometimes we need someone or others to be there for us. Sometimes emergencies arise and we need those very ones to show up and show out, unfortunately, those are the very ones that deflate our spirits every time.

Sometimes people find out about love only in death. This is the inevitable; they no longer have a crutch; the person that they thought that they could always count on, no matter what. If it is not death then you may find the will to walk away because you have become fed-up and have had enough. Now, you are told that you have changed, became cold-hearted and bitter or you just do not care.

No one ever expect someone to stop caring; you are supposed to continue to love, care, give and love unconditionally. You are supposed to wait for others to mature or allow them time after time to get it right. Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust…when will that be?

Sickness or death for whom?

Set boundaries with everyone, especially with those that say they care but are never available when you need them. Saying no and letting go is never easy but is it worth your health? Is it worth your life?

If others are not there for you when you are strong and healthy, where will they be when you are sick?

Many of them will be the common denominator in the failing of your health. There isn’t anything anyone can do for you after death. Life is for the living…enjoy life and live it to the fullest. Surround yourself with those that are there for you and show up and show out, to show you that not only do they care but to remind you that you matter.


Written by -L.J. on 02/07/2019


Bright Lights or Dimmers

Bright Lights or Dimmers

Many of times when we look in the mirror, we are not looking at our true selves; we are thinking that we are either to big or to small; we simply do not like who we see in the mirror. It is not until we are alone with our thoughts in our inner personal space where we truly examine ourselves.

We truly see who we are. Who we are is not an outward appearance because a wolf can disguise himself in sheep’s clothing!

Our inward appearance is what highlights, our outward appearance. Who are you?

Have you ever seen people step out of their homes dressed to the nine but whenever you have entered the inside of their homes you would say, is this the same person?

Our insides should match our outer appearance but often this is not the case because we are impersonating someone else. We all have issues but some of us have more extreme issues then others.

Some of us are willing to see the inside of us and try to do some self-reflection and improvement of ourselves. Some of us know deep down inside who we are but refuse to change the things that we keep our lights from shining brighter. Some of us are just rotten to the core but insanity, ego, self-righteousness, and vanity keeps our lights dim and people are afraid to have a relationship with us.

You are dangerous and some of you know it and believe that you like who you are, but you truly do not. The proof is in the pudding, you are lonely and starving for attention. Your mind is saying one thing, but your actions is saying it all.

*** I am afraid* I am lonely * I want to be loved * I don’t know how *I am hurting***

But you keep trying to convince yourself that you could do without all of this but why be overly concerned when no one wants to be in your company.

Are you the elephant in the room?

Do you change the mood of the environment within a group setting? Are you in denial? Do you need to work on yourself? As one of my good friends would say, “I know when I get on my own nerves.”

When you can recognize your own idiosyncrasies and how it makes you feel, imagine what it would do to someone else? Don’t dish it if you cannot take it.

We will all meet our match and it is no fun to be challenged unnecessarily. Healthy challenging allows us to grow in compassion, wisdom, and understanding but foolery at its finest is a headache.

Are you a Bright light or are you a dimmer?


Written by: -L.J. 02/07/2019

That’s LOVE

What is love? Many of us do not truly understand what love is. We are always telling our friends and those that we say we love, “ I love you.”
I believe that love is more of an action than a verbal exchange. “Actions speaks louder than words..” I would rather be respected and appreciated than to be told, “I love you.”
The word love to me is used to loosely and way to frequently. It is as if love has been devalued. One thing for sure, love is kind and it does not hurt. When we love we are always trying to finds ways to show others that we love them by being respectful, supportive, and loyal. Many of us say we love another and what we are often times infiltrating is a sputum of hate.
Do you know that you cannot honestly love anyone else until you know how to love yourself?
Loving yourself entails; respecting yourself, being kind to yourself and truly being honest with yourself and continuously trying to transform yourself into the highest you that you can be.
Love to me is like looking into a mirror, what you see and feel about yourself is what you emanate to those that you say you love. Love is not harsh! Many of us are truly unkind and we never want to get to the root cause of our hurt and pain. We are still playing the blame game and making others feel guilty for not being able to fix what they did not break. I am not responsible for your brokenness. I cannot love you if you will not be receptive and allow me to love you.
Love is like having someone reach for your hand and you extend your hand toward their hand to embrace. That’s love!
Meeting each other half way…I am talking about a 50/50 love. Love is balanced; my strengths compensate for your weaknesses and your strengths compensate for my weaknesses. Love is like having a paralyses and you use a cane as a support to help balance you when you stand or walk. That’ love! Love is not overcompensating with money, gifts, and never being able to say, no.  It is not for us to try to live each other’s lives; love is being the right amount of balance for one to step in to keep you from drowning.
We get upset with others if they tell us “no” and try to us this as leverage as a way to measure whether or not they love us. This is wrong…love is not measured. When you love, you do it unconditionally, knowing that we all have our own idiosyncrasies.
Place yourself directly in front of a mirror and say, (your name) “I Love You!”
Do this as often as needed until you allow yourself to believe that you love you. Know that we were designed to be imperfect and this is no excuse for us not to love or to be loved. That’s Love!
Written by: -L.J. 01/01/2019