Reset Your Clock

Fear is one of the greatest reasons why we stay stuck in time. We are frozen in time due to fear. It is never too late to start over, but we must first start.

Many of us often dream about returning to school, changing careers, or simply traveling to a destination that we have always dreamt of going.

Whatever it is that you have in your mind to do, just do it. We all know that tomorrow is not promised and there is never a right time than now. The longer we put off doing something that we long to do, it is more likely than none that we will ever do it.

Whenever the opportunity opens for me to travel to a place where I have never gone, I jump right on it. I am enthusiastic with the idea of experiencing something new. Life is but a mere moment and the opportunity must be seized when it knocks.

The way we think can be compared to a clock; sometimes it must be reset as well.

Many of us are immature and closed minded in the way that we think. Many of us are basing our views toward others and the world based on the thoughts of someone else.

Learn to think for yourself. A running joke that I have with a friend of mine, “Don’t you know how to Google.” We need to broaden our horizon and research information for ourselves.

Read it for yourself and then give your own thoughts and opinions. We need to know the source that is feeding us information.

Remember the saying, “There is more than one way to skin a cat.” There are many ways to do things in life that can yield the same or similar results. Don’t always doubt yourself because the truth about yourself and your life resides within you.

Many people like to try to tell others what is good for them, but do they really know where your shoe pinches?

Reset your clock today…Ready, Set, Go! Don’t continue to put off today for tomorrow.

Live in the moment, the here and the now.

Do what you love and love what you do. Always surround yourself with people that try to encourage you to live.

Enjoy yourself and enjoy your life.

Smile and laugh as often as possible, for there are many reasons in life to make you want to cry. If you do cry, let it be tears of joy because you have reset your clock to do what you love.

Remember…Should’ve, Could’ve, Would’ve.

Written by: -L.J. 01/14/2019

Singleness

Sometimes we long to be love that we allow ourselves to be deceived or we ourselves deceive others. I cannot reiterate the importance of self-love and honesty. This is what allows us to be honest and to love genuinely.

Sometimes we are hurt from past relationships or it was just not the person that you were meant to end up with. Some relationships are for a season for learning and teaching. Never beat yourself up over past experiences; you would never have a life story if you never tried to live and experience life.

No one can teach us everything about life; experiences can be similar but never the same because we are individuals. How we handle our life experiences and how we allow life to shape us after our experiences should teach us something whether the experience was good or bad.

Once I learned this concept about myself, I would share it with my friends. Sometimes they would get upset with me for saying, “that we have to look at ourselves and say what am I doing when I keep attracting the same type of man or woman. The only difference is that they look different, but the results are the same.

For example, if you are the type that only attract married men or women. Ask yourself, why is that? Remember that we cannot change anyone else, we can only change ourselves. Some of us go from one abusive relationship to another.

Why? These are questions that we should pose to ourselves. Some of us end up in dead end relationships because we are afraid of being alone. I have found that singleness is not at all a bad thing.

Singleness allows us room to love and get to know ourselves.

What we want… What we are willing to except, how to be faithful when we enter a relationship. Learning to love yourself teaches you how to love others. This stands true, as for forgiving yourself…you learn to forgive others.

“Life is like being behind the wheel of a vehicle, you chose how fast or slowly you accelerate through life.”

Do not rush life or love and never be afraid to say, no. As told to me from an old friend, “Always say no.” You can change a no to a yes, but a yes is a yes.

Written by: -L.J. 01/09/2019

Shivering

Many of us are having mixed feelings about the government shut down. I must admit that I welcome adversities.  It is during these times of adversities that allows us to slow down and think about where our help truly comes from.

During these times of adversity should force us to evaluate our lives to see the more important things that should be valued. Do you really need a new car? Is this a priority or a want?

Many of us are senseless when it comes to our spending. Do you really need to make that purchase?  Many of us do not ever have a clue what hard times are like. Someone you may disagree and say, “I grew up in poverty.” Do you consider growing up in poverty because you were not provided with your wants?

The latest sneakers, name brand clothing, or a new game… Is it because your parents mismanaged their finances or battled some type of addiction that caused your family to go without? I was always taught that parents are supposed to provide you with the basic needs; food, shelter, and clothing.

Many of us are not financially sound, we are simply living from paycheck to paycheck, but this still does not stop us from wasting what little that we do have. No, I am not saying that you should not enjoy life and want better.

I was taught that you must crawl before you walk. What happened to the short- and long-term goals; saving up for those large purchases and long-term investments? How many of you order out every day? Do the math, how much more money could you save if you did not waste it furiously?

Knowing where your help comes from does not allow you to worry when life shifts and becomes uncomfortable. I always say that whoever you believe to be your creator must wake you up each morning and secondly must allow you to be healthy for you to go to a job.

So, always give thanks and be thankful. Humble yourself and teach humbleness to your families. “Waste not, want not.” I am always thankful for my humble beginnings and have never strayed far away from it. I know that life can always be worst.

Think about those who live in what we consider third or fourth world countries when school, books, food and health is a luxury and we are complaining about life being a little uncomfortable.

I recall someone saying, “We all have had more money than we knew what to do with.” Some of us have received inheritance, insurance monies, lottery winnings, monetary gifts, income tax, etc. How much of it did you save? How much of it did you waste?

When we know better, we do better. Many of us have survived off government assistance; housing, food stamps, and medical. How many people misuse this government assistance? Many of us take so much in life for granted, we seem to believe that things will always be available to us without us having to do our part in insuring that we have resources available to us.

I am only saying this for all of us to stop and think because many of us have been in this situation one time or another and when we look back, we can see if we had only done this or that we would be much better off. Many of us have wasted a lot of our time and money trying to aid our family and friends.

All the resources and assistants that we have poured into them has not given them a stronger stance financially.

Sometimes handouts hinder us but when we know that we must be solely responsible for ourselves and our immediate family you take less for granted. You realize that life is all about the necessity not the wants.

Many of us want things that we do not need nor have a use for. How many of us have clothes, shoes, and handbags that we have not used or worn in years?  But we will not get rid of it, why?

We say that we do not have enough space, but we need a bigger house. For what? To house more things that are just taking up space.

We can have a lot more in life, but the real question is, what you need. We will never stop wanting even when we get what we say we want it is never enough.

Remember that some things in life are out of our control. Make the best out of any situations.

Written by: -L.J. 01/09/2019

Non-Exempt

Non-Exempt
The decision to become a parent can be both a conscious or non-conscious decision but all the same it is a choice.
When the decision is made to bring a child into this world we have to prepare ourselves for a lifetime commit of responsibility. Being responsible for our children does not mean that we have to take care of them financially for the rest their lives but equipping them with the life skills to be self-sufficient.
The most easiest part of parenting is the making of the child while the most difficult is the rearing of the child. It seems that many of us enjoy making babies but do not want the responsibility of being a parent. Many parents want to escape their sole duties of parenting and shift the responsibilities onto the grandparents, aunts, uncles or any other person that will take on their parental duties.
When we look out into the world and see what a heartless place that it has become and if it was not for those who have chosen to stand in the gap of these children, where would they be? All to often children are being placed in harms way because parents want to be exempt from their parental role. Did these children ask to be here? Did you need to have another child? Who do you think should be responsible for your children?
Growing up, I was taught that learning starts at home. What are you teaching your children? Is it the responsibility of the teacher to ensure that your child learns? Or is it the responsibility of the world to teach your child a lesson of hard knock life?
Many of us as parents need to reevaluate ourselves and be conscious of the things that we are putting into the minds of our children. If you do not have the best attitude, I believe that is wise to try to instill it in your child to have a better attitude. This is something that is dear to my heart, my mother always reiterated to me the importance of having a good attitude. We should always strive to have our children be better not to pass the torch of the generational curse to be same as yourself.
Yes, being a parent can be a frightening thing but it is a dirty job and someone has to do it? Why not you?
Because you shift your parental duties onto someone else does not make you exempt as a parent, they are still your children. How many people never appreciate those that are standing in the gaps and are caring for your children while you live your life any way you chose.
Do you ever think that one day the tables will turn and your child may have to make the same decisions when it comes to you being cared for? Remember the saying, “Once a man, twice a child?”
Mothers and Fathers know that you are non-exempt when you have a child. You have a sole duty and responsibility to care for your children. They are not the responsibility of someone else, you are responsible. If you have someone who love your children as if they are their own appreciate them and teach your children to respect and appreciate them as well. Know that your children do not have to be in good hands.
We hear of horror stories of children falling through the cracks and nothing is done about it.
Do not let this be your children. Stop feeling sorry and making excuses for why you cannot parent. You were giving a job…now do it.

 

Written by: -L.J. 01/01/2019

Don’t Flatline

Don’t Flatline
We have all been taught that stress is a silent killer. Stress can cause depression, anxiety, health problems and can cause our lives to spiral out of control by becoming dependent upon both drugs and alcohol. I know that many of us do not know how to say, no.
We allow others to place their overflowing demands upon us making us believe that we are like the energizer bunny. We keep doing and doing…Having super powers would be great if it was at all possible. Even a Genie in a bottle has limitations.
You are only allowed three wishes. We are humans and not robots…computers crash all the time and we will crash to if we do not learn to set healthy boundaries and limitations. We all need to allow our bodies time to relax and recharge. We cannot be everything to everyone all of the time. We have to take time out for ourselves and do what makes us happy.
People pleasing will cause you to flatline, for your heart can only do so much. It needs help and somethings we need help as well. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help when it is needed.
Our personal lives are not the only areas that we need to set both boundaries and limitations. Work is another area where stress can be added to our lives. Trying to meet unrealistic expectations and deadlines. Having to do the job of to many men, you are just one person. Going to work everyday in fear of losing your job or being retaliated against for standing up for what is right.
No one should have to endure this but it is happening everyday in the workplace. Although, they say employees have rights, do they really? Retaliation is not an easy thing to prove because it is done so solemnly and who is going to say that they witnessed this? “Put my neck on the line for you,” so that I can lose my job as well? What do you do? Who do you turn to?
My mother use to always say, “Stay a child as long as you can,” but so many children are at a far greater risk at flatling than an adult. Many children are burden with so many responsibilities that they are not yet equipped to understand, yet carry. We wonder why they are so in a rush to grow-up!
Like the saying goes, “ You can chose your friends but you cannot chose your family.” We do not have a choice in which family we are born into…we cannot chose our parents. We wonder why the children have attention disorders…is it really a behavioral issue or is it that they are tired, mentally, physically, and emotionally?
Whatever the case maybe, we are all at risk because stress is not something that we can wish away. Unfortunately, we have to find away of coping with it or it is going to cause us to flatline. Finding healthy ways of coping with stress will lead to positive results.
Always, always distant yourself from negative people, situations, and environments as often as possible.
Remember, “ Garbage in, Garbage out.”

 

Written by: -L.J. 01/01/2019

A Diamond In The Rough

A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH
Have you ever received a gift and never knew the value of it?
Friendship is a like a diamond in the rough and we do not know what we have until it is no longer exist. Many times we find out the true definition of a friend when we are faced with adversities. Many of us have people in our lives that we view as valueless because they do not shower us with monetary or material things. This does not define friendship because people can give you all the material things that your heart desire but leave you feeling worthless, like a penny with a hole in it.
We have genuine friends that are placed in our lives but we do not value them because we do not truly know their worth and value because we ourselves feel worthless and less than.
Why do we place more value on the unhealthy things than the healthy things in life? We are all guilty of this, food choices are a perfect example. Yes, it cost more to eat healthy than it does to eat unhealthy; this also stands true for the cost of healthy friendships versus toxic, unhealthy friendships. Remember that everything in life comes at a cost. What are your willing to pay or risk for your choices in those you call friend? We say, time after time that we want to be healthy and we want good healthy relationships. What do your consider as good? What do you consider as healthy?
Are you taking the time to read the nutritional value of the food choices that you are making? Are you reevaluating the people in your life that you have chosen to call friends?
They say that “good things come in small packages” and diamonds usually come in small boxes. Never judge a book by its cover…We are over looking the diamond because it has not been polished so we do not see it as a diamond.
Do you ever wonder why people wear costume jewelry? It was not until this point that I, myself pondered this question.
Diamonds are expensive and if you lose it most likely than none, you will never get it back. A great friendship is exactly, that way. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Friendship is not of double standard; it takes nurturing from all parties in order to grow and blossoms into something beautiful that can never be replaced once it is lost. Friendship is to be valued and handled like the most delicate jewel. Value your friendship the way you value your diamonds, no matter the carat. It is the small things to always be considered…
When you have what you consider as “a thorn in your side friend” who calls you daily just because, appreciate them and the time that they took out of their day to say that you were on their minds. Everyone you call friend is not always thinking of you and when they do reach out it is always about them and what you can do for them.
Remember that all things come to and end and one day you will not receive that call. Pick up the phone, text, talk and often as you can because it will come a time that you would have wished that you had. Stand by those that stand by you. It is not about money or material things, it is about the connection. Never lose the connection because it is truly valuable. Friendship…

 

Written by: -L.J. 01/01/2019